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The Pillars, sometimes known as the Pills[1] or Pillarmens, are one of the secondary antagonists in the surreal meme universe. Similarly to Orang, they are Deceptive beings who regularly venture onto social media platforms such as /r/surrealmemes attempting to gain the trust of their denizens. Like Orang they are not to be trusted.
About
Pillars are dangerous and incredibly deceptive. They are shown to hold great knowledge, but punish those who learn it by attempting to SCRONCH them. Their ultimate goal seems to be accessing The Octahedron of Transcendence so they can annihilate the Surreal Memes Universe. They are led by the Pillar Lord, a truly ruthless being, and the least trustworthy of all Pillars, which is saying a lot.
Their deceptive abilities go far beyond those of Orang. Wielding incredible "CHARM and WIT", they reach outside their universe to manipulate the minds of the innocent normies and TRANSCENDED alike, typically over the internet. They do this by creating memes imploring us to trust them and give them our secrets. Luckily, brave warriors are working day in and day out to create counter-memes warning the normies of their true power, but the war still rages to this day, and it's unknown if either side will win.
The pillars are immune to having their time harvested by the Time-Mite.
At least in the PoseidonHeir timeline, most Pillars are part of a vast empire called the "Pillar Imperium". This empire is ruled by the Pillar Lord.
In at least one timeline, they are allergic to crystals from Dimension HS^56$3 (dubbed Veik)
Appearance
Many pillars are typically seen as short, brown objects with a blank expression similar to Orang. They have four spikes atop their heads and lack any eyeballs (in certain circumstances, their eyeholes will glow). They are also thought to be able to skew their angles.
Greek pillar, Pillar
However, as shown in "Riddle of the Rocks", Pillars can come in many shapes and sizes. The pillars shown seem to be the largest, and are simply ordinary pillars with red glowing eyes. They do not speak, but are just as dangerous.
Recently, it was discovered that there was an inverted pillar, and it may prove to be the most dangerous enemy anyone has ever faced.
Also recently, The pillars founded there rival, The Honey Whys
History
Main Riddle of the Rocks (BagelBoy timeline)
They were shown in "Riddle of the Rocks" to be in cahoots with (or possibly controlling) Orang in order to obtain this item from the Elephoont of the Shapes.
In "Quest for the Octahedron" and "Council of The Ancients", there's The Grand Pillar which is in the council and he is the the pillar lord's brother. This one has a plan with Orang to get The Octahedron of Trancendance
PoseidonHeir Timeline
In the beginning, the only two Pillars were Grand Pillar Cl'egius, leader of the Council of the Ancients, and his younger brother, the Pillar Lord. When the Pillar Lord attempted to overthrow the Capital Government, he sculpted and brought to life the Pillar species to use them as his army.
However, his coup attempt was discovered and thwarted by the Council, which led to the Pillar Lord and all the Pillars he created being banished to a far away realm. However, the Pillar Lord managed to regroup them and reform them into the Pillar Legion, declaring himself as Legate (which is the title of the commander of a legion in Roman times). At that time, the Pillar Legion was more of a warlord clique than an organized nation. The Pillar Lord began to strengthen the Legion, which eventually took over more dimensions nearby. Once they were bigger, the Pillar Lord reformed the Legion into the more organized First Pillar Imperium, abbreviated as the FPI, declaring himself emperor.
The FPI continued their expansion until the Capital Government and the Council of the Ancients realized the threat. They began a war with the FPI, but the Pillars were prepared, and forced them into a stalemate. That war soon ended in a white peace.
The FPI continued expanding throughout the eons, and fighting a vast assortment of wars with the Capital Government, which usually ended in stalemates followed by white peaces or minor losses for either side. The Pillars weren't cruel or oppressive to any non-Pillar residents in their territory, but were known to brainwash many of them with propaganda, thus making them TRUST the Pillars.
One of the main reasons why the FPI could hold off the Capital Government so many times was because the Capital Government's war effort was almost always headed by the Grand Pillar, and the Pillar Lord was able to predict a lot of his tactics due to their history. Since they knew each other well, neither could really catch the other off guard, which usually led to stalemates.
However, the last few of the wars between the FPI and the Capital Government began to weaken the FPI. The Grand Pillar had more advisors and strategists helping each time, who would come up with new tactics that the Pillar Lord couldn't predict. The FPI began to lose territory and strength one war after the other.
The final nail in the coffin was the last war between the FPI and Capital Government prior to the Orang Crusade, which was actually still centuries ago. This time, the Grand Pillar decided to appoint Lord Bread as the commander of the war effort for the Capital Government. Lord Bread was completely unpredictable to the Pillar Lord, as before the latter's banishment, the two had hardly known each other. Eventually, this war resulted in the destruction of nearly the entire FPI, with the remnants disappearing and the Pillar Lord going into hiding after being defeated in battle by the Grand Pillar.
For centuries, the Pillars had disappeared to the public, and the First Pillar Imperium was gone. However, the remnants remained in hiding, regathering over centuries. The Pillar Lord managed to form the Second Pillar Imperium, which is informally known as simply "the Pillar Imperium". However, the Pillar Lord kept his new empire in far away dimensions with no other beings in order to not alert anyone else of their existence.
The Pillar Imperium continued to grow in power, while remaining in hiding, for hundreds of years, until they allied with the being known as Orang following his deal with the Pillar Lord. Orang was meant to acquire the Octahedron of Transcendence, and split its power between himself and the Pillars, allowing them to reign over reality as equals. However, once Orang did acquire the Octahedron, he refused to split it and kept all power to himself, then proceeded to order the Pillars around. Orang, being a Transcendent by now, could not be questioned, and although the Pillars, especially the Pillar Lord himself, hated it, they had to accept that the Pillar Imperium was now subject to Orang's orders.
At the end of the war, the Omniscronchulon, who had once attacked reality before but had been banished, had reawakened. The Omniscronchulon temporarily wreaked havoc, but Meme Man and Orang managed to work together in order to re-banish it and save reality. Orang felt guilty about his actions and surrendered to the DAO. Realizing hope was lost, the Pillar Imperium surrendered, and retreated into the far out dimensions, not to be seen again for a very long time.
Friendly Pillars
Although Pillars are generally evil, there are some that will help out. These include:
- B L O O (a former Pillar)
- Nate Pillar The Third
- Grand Pillar Cl'egius (Most timelines)
- Pillar.EXE
- Melvin (presumably, though he could just be a CLAY BOI)
Abilities
- The ability to scronch by creating a scronching beam as well as possible other ways.
- Immunity to the time-harvesting powers of the Time-Mites.
- An extreme level of deceptive abilities.
- Mind control (possibly a rare ability, used by the Pillar Lord to control the Grand Pillar in PoseidonHeir's timeline).
- The ability to freeze time (used by the Pillar Lord in Council of the Ancients, again possibly a rare ability).
Gallery
Click here to view the gallery.
Trivia
- The Pillar photo is actually from a Nigerian sculpture called the Cylindrical head, which was made for the Yoruba Religion made in 1300-1400 AD. It was first turned into a surreal meme by mc_labs15.
Appears In
- Riddle of the Rocks
- Council of The Ancients (Only Grand Pillar Cl'egius)
- Quest for the Octahedron
- Lamp by Timotainment (Cameo only, gets succed by Dr. DARK Francis after Lampn said the forbidden word: SUCC)
References
- ↑ The redirect is deleted due to the word "Redirect" being misspelled as "Reidrect".
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