Surreal Memes Wiki

Conke (pronounced ˈæ.kwəˌbɑːɡ; also spelled Conk, stylized CoNKe) is a beverage that is scorching and TERRIBLE and should never be consumed. It is a rival brand of Bepis that requires less Monet to purchase, in order to fool beings into purchasing conke instead of real bepis. Kolanium is the only ingredient that can make Conke more worthy of consumption. The drincc, along with Dasanee (also warm and bad), and Sproot, a rather cool and good drincc (unkown), are currently manufactured by the Conka-Crola Company.

The drincc is also known under the name Conka-Crola.


Conke is usually served in a red colored can, with white writing of "Conke" on it. Resembles a Bepis can's shape.


It was presumably invented by Nazi Germany, as to prevent Hitler's legs from becoming to long to fit in candy machines.

Nutrition and Effects

Conke has a variety of bad effects when consumed, percentages will appear to show the chances of it happening, the effects are:

  • Becoming 2-dimensional
  • Temporarily losing existence
  • s c r o n c h i n g (not to be confused with scrombling)
  • catching the SICK and will make you SNEEZE
  • Un-ascension
  • Initial refreshment, to fool beings (possibly)
  • Can cus bludy diaria
  • makes you mad and angry
  • drinccs for dum dum people
  • Intoxication
  • pregnant people don't drinck it or your son/daughter will be FLAT
  • the urge to trunstt the Pillars
  • become an bad boy
  • experience of dust
  • crying a waterfall of tears
  • literally becoming a black hole for 5 seconds
  • spiraling into insanity for 3 days
  • pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
  • removal of time (Time-Mites use CONKE sometimes with their temporal shovels to harvest time)
  • becoming all swirled up into oblivion
  • the losing of your face
  • destabilization of your gravitational pull
  • random quicksand pits appearing at your feet
  • endless pain without crust
  • losing the ability to collide with anything, including the ground you're standing on
  • shrinking down to the size of an ant, meaning you'll die shortly
  • your head shrinking down too small to be seen
  • becoming low res and low poly
  • becoming a dead meme
  • attack from v e g e t a l and oriders
  • sudden urge to the cat
  • having 69 seizures at once
  • being tempted to practise Orangism
  • being forced to say all trigger words at the top of your lungs against your will
  • having your head turn into a lemon (and possibly your index finger but it's unlikely)
  • everyone hating you
  • being stuck having r34 art flash in your eyes
  • annoying songs playing in your head at earrape volume
  • all drugs in existence are taken instantly
  • Collapse to the floor
  • having fire launch out of your mouth while you melt into oblivion


Тнis is аи соике аdvегтisе. ! Dо иот тгциsт !

  • Lines
  • Imitation void
  • May contain false red as they are marketed as red. if they are, they may contain red dyes #2 #4 and #40.
  • 110% cocaine powder
  • diaria
  • Capsacian Crystals
  • Unfunny memes
  • rottn bepis
  • Strongg laxative
  • other people unlucky enough to drincc conke
  • that which is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is
  • mini cronch pillars
  • orang peel
  • fire cuboids
  • A N T I E X I S T E N C E
  • vegetal juice
  • fake artificial ice
  • angery serum
  • warmth and badness
  • 1-dimensional dots
  • A̵̻̩̙̱͖̋́̈́̔͋̏̍̕͝A̷͕͖̾Ȃ̷̢͇͇͖̝͔̭͈̹̪͈̗̇̃̀̈́̑̈́̈́͊͊ͅͅḁ̵̧̜͐̃͝a̷͍͕̞̻͕͒̈́̍̓̅̓̾̀̚͝͝͝͠a̸̧̜̟̤͉̰̮͉̿̽̕͝A̵̛̫̍̈́̃̋̊̅͠Ḁ̵̖̮̟͚̲̻̯̙̙̦̻̓̃͑͋͊̃̄̀͘ä̷̡͍̤͙̟̗̺̹̯́̈́̅̇́͑̏̓̅̊͝͠ͅa̸̧̡̢͔͇̣̟̪̺̱̥͉̜̓̓̈́̆͐̑͜a̵̛̺͎̋̍̇̎̑͗̆́̎̂̎͌̕͝a̶̡̢̗̼̝͚̗̬̹̣̋̀͘͜͝A̷̢͎͍̦͇̒́̑̊̕A̴̧̧̱̯̰̺͈̼̖̘̗̳̟̾
  • sharp trapozoid
  • Coronavirus
  • Ground up picardia faces
  • Boomer jokes
  • undefined
  • distorte sauce
  • this folder is empty
  • errors
  • Fake lemmn
  • Shrink jooce
  • windows error boxes
  • Colanium (Optional)



  1. Conke is not always bad, but usually is. It mostly depends on who consumes it. Most beings are to drincc Bepis instead.

Conke would actually be good, if only it had ice cuboids in it.

Conke was invented by pillars, but are often served by Conke catts.

⚠️ 🅱️🅰️▶️❗️Do nont drincc if below nth dimensional level!

Conk in the 3rd dimenshone is called coke and actually tastt okey. It's also way less harmful. it may make you C H O N K tho